More Awkward Student's Sex Stories

Since the first part of “The 10 Most Awkward Things that Happened to Students During Sex” made you all laugh (and kinda cringe), why not make part 2?

So, here are a few more hilariously awkward things that happened to college students during sex:

1. SHIT

“My boyfriend shit himself when he came the first time we had sex…all over my sheets”

2. JACKPOT!!

“One night I went out to a dance club with my friends and got incredibly drunk. Throughout the night I was putting the change leftover from buying drinks into my bra because I didn’t bring a purse with me. I ended up going to my boyfriend’s place afterward (who hadn’t been out with us that night) and as any terrible drunk girl, I conned him into having sex with me. We were going at it pretty hard, he was laying down and I was on top of him and he finally had the mind to take my bra off. And when he did, all the change from the night ($21 in coins…) bursts out and rained all over his face. As he was confused and spluttering I just drunkenly continued while yelling ‘JACKPOT!!!’ and grabbing the cash and throwing it in the air. I’m surprised that we’re still together…”

3. SIGH…

“I was getting a handy-j from a girl to finish me off and she suddenly checks her watch and sighs…”

4. OH GOD, I’M SO SORRY

“I had a girlfriend who compulsively apologized every time she came. And she came really easily, so it was like…all the time. Like, I’d go down on her for just a little while before we had sex and ‘Oh god, I’m sorry, I’m sorry’, and then we’d have sex for a few more minutes and ‘Oh god, I’m so sorry’ repeat several more times before we were through.

And no, she wasn’t apologizing to God. She was just really, really polite, and she wanted me to come first even though that just doesn’t make any sense. (And it never, ever happened, because she was the female equivalent of a two-pump chump. A two-pump champ, maybe?)”

5. ADVICE

“After we had sex, the guy asked me for advice on how to ask another girl out. I laughed my ass off, gave him the best advice I could give him. They were together for about 2 years afterward, if I recall correctly.”

6. UM…WHAT?

“After finishing for the first time with my girlfriend at the time, I said ‘I feel as if my performance was lackluster, but an intense sensory overload occurred’. She doesn’t let me live it down to this day.”

7. THANK YOU

“I had a guy that me for “sharing my intimacy with him” and he was dead serious.

8. AWKWARD HIGH-FIVE

“Had a girl ask, ‘I assume everything down there was to your liking?’

– I didn’t even know how to respond to that, so I just asked her for a high-five…”

9. WE ARE ONE

“A friend of mine was losing her virginity in college and as he was doing it he gazed into his girlfriend’s eyes and whispered, ‘We are one.’ They’re not together anymore.”

10. SHIT…AGAIN

‘A guy I knew in college got super drunk and hooked up with a girl at her sorority house. He wakes up the next morning, still drunk – she’s gone, and he can’t find his clothes. He assumes that she is fucking with him and decides that he must escape out the window to prevent the sorority-house humiliation. Before doing so, though, he decides the best course of action is to shit in her bed. After he finishes up and covers the mess with the sheets, she walks in and says ‘Hey, I cooked some breakfast for you if you want some. Also, your clothes had vomit all over them, so I put them in the wash'”.

What do you think?

200 points
Upvote Downvote

Comments

Leave a Reply

Loading…

0

Comments

comments

Super-Successful Celebrity College Dropouts

Best Low-Budget Destinations for 2018